Tuesday, July 12, 2011

September 13, 2011

Its been a while...sorry.

We have a date.
September 13th 10:30am.
I've been working to get this date for a month now. Before that I was preparing myself to be ready for that date. I thought I was ready. Now that we have the coveted date my stomach is in knots. Its strange, just reality setting in that we will have something concrete to either go forward with or not. Things will continue as they are most likely one way or the other. Its our new reality. I talk openly, I even use the word in conversation with those closest to me. My reading material is plastered with it.
There I said it.
I have come to terms (or so I thought) and have my own personal diagnosis for Gavin.
Why, then do I all of the sudden feel so anxious and scared?
Maybe I'm not ready. It doesn't really matter if I am or not, he needs this and so do we.
Things have been more difficult lately. I don't even think its related to a disorder, probably just the natural development of a two-year old. I think he's fighting for autonomy and it sucks. I keep telling myself its good, because it is. It means he is developing appropriately, in some areas at least. Why does writing that make me cry?

Those darn doors. I'm about ready to take them all off their hinges. Its his thing and it seems like its getting worse. He is obsessed. He knows how to unlock deadbolts now so he continuously slams every single door in our house over and over and over and over and over again. Any kind of door, he doesn't discriminate. Have a headache yet? I do.

So, when the phone rang today and the woman on the phone told me she was calling to schedule the evaluation, I was relieved it was finally here and yet terrified at the same time. I think these opposite emotions are natural. Tell me they are.

All that being said...the past eight months since we began this journey of discovery and intervention have been amazing. Everyone we have worked with has been very professional and definitely have great concern for Gavin's success in life. I continually pray that the Lord will lead and guide us through this journey whatever it ends up being, that he'll inspire me and all of his interventionists, therapists, you name it. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Love this little man to pieces! Headaches and all...

We have a date!

In the mean time I will be reading this, and this, and just finished reading this.


  1. Gavin is soo lucky to have parents who love him so much and are so concered about his well being. I have a few people close to be with children with dissabilities and I can tell you that there is no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father only sends those sweet spirits tothe most capable,prepared and deserving (in a very good way) parents who He trusts above others. You are so brave to share your story, thank you!

  2. http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=120&products_id=1211

    Check these out.I thought about it after I read your blog. We use them at the daycare so the kids don't close the doors but they might work for slamming doors. You can put them up high so they can't take them off!

  3. I love your openness and realness with the situation. I wish more people were like you. I am glad you are getting great help. If you even need to talk, call me! Working with kids, like Gavin, are my absolute favorite! Keep up the great attitude!

  4. Wow, sounds like Gavin is keeping you on your toes. I hope you get the answers you need at the evaluation. I'm glad Clara can't open doors yet.

  5. Thinking of you, Stace. This is a big deal. I'm sure your heart is heavy with worry sometimes... Mine is full of confidence in you and in Ryan and in Gavin and the plan the Lord has made for all of you. Here's another Proverb fave: "Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." xoxo

  6. Hi :) I don't know you. I was just blog surfing, going through my friend Leah Carlson's blog roll. Anyway I used to work with children with Autism and I recently read this book. I and found it very interesting - http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Preventing-Autism-Complete-Guide/dp/B0040RMEI0/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1313125010&sr=1-1. Just thought it was worth mentioning. By the way I wish you luck and peace with the journey ahead of you. There will be many blessings!